Here's a comprehensive and slightly snarky summary of Naomi Robson's exit, and legacy.

Seems that the anti-Yank feeling one encounters so often down under isn't shared by at least one young Aussie.  She is definitely pro-American -- albeit selectively. 

Very selectively. 

So Sir Elton John has verbally flipped the bird at John Howard.  Our restrained PM will no doubt respond in a dignified fashion, or not at all.

It's at times like these I'd prefer to see a more combative, colourful reply just for the sheer entertainment value of it.  Imagine if Mark Latham were now our leader, for instance:  

Elton John:  "Up yours!"

Prime Minister:  "Oh, go fuck yourself you silly poof."

Pity he's not still around to liven things up, eh? 

High profile TV host and total spunk Naomi Robson has decided to quit her gig after a truly shockin' year.

She cites as one of her motivations for leaving a report on Steve Irwin's death in which she appeared with a lizard clinging to her shoulder, describing it as a "big mistake".

Eh?  I thought it was one of her finest moments. 

I've never imagined myself as a lizard before.  But after that memorable broadcast I found a truly compelling reason to.

And I have done so many times since.  Many, many times ...  

So a bloody Irishman has won Australian Idol ...

Typical thieving Micks.  Yonks back, they'd nick stuff, then get sent out here.  Now it's the other way around.

Send the bastard back in chains, I say!

Perth-based uber-boffins Robin Warren and Barry Marshall -- who've already won the Nobel Prize -- have become total legends by being named joint Australians of the Year. 

It wasn't joints they were studying, but.  It was guts.  See, they were the blokes who found out that peptic ulcers are actually caused by bacteria, not stress.   

But what if you had an ulcer, and the bug destroying treatment Rob and Bazza have concocted didn't work?  That'd make you a nervous wreck, wouldn't it?  Could give you a bloody ulcer, it could -- er, 'cept you've already got one ...

Seems that the Asian shark fin soup trade is slowly but surely making those "men in grey suits" extinct.  Yep, Carcharadon carcharias is carking. 

Well boo friggin' hoo.  If you live by the tooth, you can bloodywell die by it, I say. 

There's a sentiment expressed in this story that, sadly, a scene like the one shown in the pic will become a thing of the past.  Eh?  I'm sure seals will be damn glad about that. 

As will I. 

Eat shit and die, noahs!

Boffins have discovered that about 250 million years back most life on earth (particularly in the oceans) chucked a massive collective heartie and carked it.  As the fervently ferndamentalist ABC reports:

And scientists at James Cook University in Townsville, Queensland and the Field Museum in Chicago warn that modern human-induced changes to the ecosystem could have a similar impact.

It always comes back to the doomsaying doesn't it? 

But here's The Guardian (itself pretty damn green) with a slightly more balanced report:

A cataclysmic mass extinction that devastated life on Earth millions of years ago is the unlikely reason such a rich variety of life is found in the oceans today, scientists have discovered.

So, it was actually a good thing.  Untold squillions of primordial organisms died so that others could live.  Crikey, that puts even the mass slaughter of the Somme in the shade, that does!

The lesson?  Mass extinctions ultimate ly create much greater bio-diversity. 

Hmm ...  So if we keep killing off wildlife at the present rate this is actually good for the environment because a whole shitload of new critters will eventually take their place.  And we can look at all the deceased fauna as martyrs to a noble cause.

So, what the hell are greenies whingeing about? 

Idiots. 

Bloke-faced harpy Heather Mills has slagged off the hard-working creator of a portrait of her.  As this story reports she said of the work: "I just don't think I look very kind. As the press portray me as hard and cold, I'm not keen on the sternness of it."

Hey Heather, the British press portray you as "hard and cold" because you are hard and cold.

Wanna see a prettier picture of yourself?  Stop being such a gold-digging, legend-destroying, hard-faced bitch.

Cow.

Sheesh.  What was supposed to be a family-friendly scen e somehow became a truly obscene display.  There was a platypus getting down and dirty with a wombat, and two koalas schtupping up a storm!

We can only wonder why this all happened.  Maybe it was just an unfortunate coincidence.  But I suspect it might be something much more sinister ...

Could it be that these animatronic animals had been programmed with natural impulses?  Is this the beginning of a bizarre bionic revolution; a kind of Terminator-type dystopia -- but with sex-crazed mechanica l bilbies?

I think so.

Be afraid.  Be very afraid ... 

Here's an interesting article by Paul Sheehan on the laudatory musical about the career of Paul Keating.

A Melbourne revue that includes a representation of Steve Irwin's death, along with a cameo by the Germainiac, has got a few punters more than a tad shat off.

Not unlike Sacha Baron Cohen, the theatre's artistic director has been forced into a public defence of the scene.  He says it isn't attacking Irwin; it's actually sledging pious expat Greer for weighing in with such a silly analysis of the bloke's death. 

Okay ...  Well in that case it would have been nice if this antipathy towards her were made clearer.  Like if the theatrical stingrays attacked the Greer caricature instead. Or, even better, if this happened for real! 

I'd pay to see that. 

Michael Flatley has made a point of informing the media that he is not terminally ill.  Uncertainty remains over what is currently ailing him, however.

I'd say it's probably a case of seriously busted up kneecaps.

It's not just frat boys who are brimming over their inclusion in the Borat fillum.  An etiquette expert is on the legal warpath, too.  And she's got a bloody good lawyer -- Gloria Allred, who has kicked arse in many high profile cases over the years. 

Just as well his movie is making megabucks, 'cause Sacha Baron Cohen might have to fork out millions before all this is over. 

Silly old argument from silly old rock stars: poverty creates terrorism.  Just consider how much wealth Osama bin Laden amassed pre 9/11 and you'll know what a crock that one is. 

I love the name conflation that U2's Bono and Pearl Jam's Eddie Vedder indulged in at the Melbourne concert.  Called themselves "U-Jam".  Just as well Bono doesn't front Toto, eh?

Accustomed to kicking goals, brilliant Hungarian footballer and national hero Ferenc Puskas has --- sadly -- kicked the bucket.  He was 79.

Bloke was a legend, possessing one of the world's most magical left boots.  (He also had one of the world's most impressive left cow-licks.  Amazing isn't it?  Midgets could almost surf that.)

He'll be missed.

Particularly by the midgets. 

Sacha Baron Cohen is a clever and subversive talent.  But by defending his film and talking ear nestly about what he's trying to achieve with his satire he's in danger of becoming like so many of his targets: a self-important bore. 

If you want to be taken seriously, don't be a comedian. 

Some celeb called Evangeline Lilly -- whoever she is -- believes that Angelina Jolie has what it takes to be the leader of the free world.

While her sentiment is clearly heartfelt, and quite touching, somehow I just don't think it's gonna happen.

Big Kim Beazley is so worried about the negative influence of Brian Burke that he's pre-emptively distanced himself from the disgraced former Premier.

Ironic that the term "back seat" is used in this story's title, since "back seat driving" is what Burke's been up to.  Beazley's statements  seem a tad insincere.  I'd say he's "protestething too much", and that "Back Seat" Burke has power over him, too.  Makes me wonder what's been going down in that party over the years ...

Really, Burke should get a hobby.  And every WA Labor pollie should grow a bloody backbone!

Although he is a brilliant performer and writer I'm not a big fan of Sacha Baron Cohen's genre of satire, which involves using real people as props in his sketches.

That's fine when those people are pompous and powerful.  But you can't help feeling sorry for them when they are poor, disabled or just not too bright.

That said, I'll still see the film and probably fall about laughing all the way through.  Comedy is cruel, no doubt about it.   

I have often heard the phrase "dangerous comedian".  But it's usually used to describe comics who are actually very safe. 

It seems to apply to Sacha Baron Cohen, however!

It appears that alleged sex offender Milton Orkopoulos has attempted suicide.  This has echoes of the John Brogden meltdown, not so long ago.

Political dramas this extreme (and sad) could only happen in New South Wales.

I recently wrote that the Government had been sensible in reviewing its teen mum policy.  But now they've blown it.  See, they're requiring that the young breeders have to see social workers to receive the money. 

Social workers!  They always make things a whole lot worse.

Let the young mums buy smack with the cash instead.  In this context, that's harm minimization. 

Speaking of celebs and violence:  Richard Gere has broken a rib on the set of his latest movie. 

Broke a rib, eh?  That must have been one helluva big gerbil! 

Turning successful fillums into musicals seems to be an increasingly common practice in America.  The latest is Edward Scissorhands.

I can’t really see the point of this. Cinema is more impressive and memorable than theatrical production any day. It’s a real step down.

I think the cost of producing a musical is so huge and the risk so great that producers choose to rehash movies so they can cash in on a ready-made audience.

Totally understandable, but also kind of depressing. 

Latest news on Milton Orkopoulos is that he was allegedly tipped off -- but not by members of his party, as you'd expect.  They were Libs. 

Eh?

That's Sydney politics for you -- often histrionic, violent, and just plain bizarre.   

Here's another example of celebrity violence:  Angered by intrusive paparazzi Denise Richards hurled laptops over a balcony, injuring two grannies below.

Fortunately for her, no charges were laid. 

The Government has made a sensible decision in abolishing lump sum baby bonus payments for mothers under 18.

Feminist bimbos will squawk up a storm about this.  They'll shriek that it's "patronising" and "sexist".  They'll defend post-adolescent breeders by saying that they should be allowed to make their own financial decisions because they are "sensible, empowered" ... all that crap. 

But if these girls (and they are still girls) are so "sensible" why the hell do so many of them get up the duff (usually to losers) in the first place? 

Speaking of trashy celebrity news: I just did a search for Heather Mills and found this amazing photo of her. 

Talk about a strong jaw, eh!  She could almost be a bloke.

Sheesh ... Maybe she actually is? 

You may have noticed an increase in celebrity-themed posts of late.  The reason: I've been surfing celeb gossip sites looking for famous people to make fun of and I've actually started to get hooked on the news itself.

Celebs are amazing.  They lead such tumultuous lives.  They're always getting beaten up, or doing the beating, overdosing, drinking themselves into stupors, leaking porn tapes to get back at each other, or just ... dying.

They live in a truly gruesome, Darwinian world.  Gruesome, yet strangely compelling ...

Fascinating phenomenon being played out in Western Australia now; one which often happens in politics:

Government does dodgy, immoral or just plain stupid th ings, then it loses.  There's a period in which it gets its act together again, seems to move on and regains power.  But past acts of dodginess fester and morph all the while in the background, finally transforming into ginormous feral vermin and biting the present leader fair on the arse.

Leader is faced with stark choice: Slay arse-rats and retain voter loyalty and respect; or keep pretending they're not there and get caned in the next election (plus wind up with a very sore arse).

Looks like Premier Alan Carpenter has wisely chosen the former course of action and publicly executed two very large arse-rats. 

(Well, that's what it seems.  But you never know.  Might not be the end of this ... ) 

There's a lot of talk about computer animation making actors redundant.  That wouldn't be such a bad thing, I reckon, because you could program them not to be such pompous pain-in-the-arse liberals.

And here's another computer revolution:  Patients and doctors are increasingly turning to Google for help in diagnosis.  Just a matter of time before quacks get outdated too!

When I was living in Sydders, there was a new US-financed blockbuster being made practically every week.  I remember walking past the entrance to Wynyard Station one day and seeing a big mock-up sign reading "The Daily Planet" on a building nearby, scaffolding and lights everywhere, extras galore, and scores of scruffy blokes barking orders into walkie-talkies.  Yep, they were filming Superman.

I'm a tad cynical about the fillum industry, but I couldn't help feeling the buzz, and thinking it was a great thing for the country.  (The fact that it was pissing off isolationist arts-farts was a bonus, too!)

But sadly, that production boom has well and truly died in NSW.  (Although it's not a tragedy, because Queensland is still doing well.)

What is it about NSW that produces the most specatacular political scandals and train wrecks?  Remember the Broggers meltdown?  Then the Cross City Tunnel.  And of course there was Mark Latham.  (He was a federal pollie, but he still hailed from that state.) 

It's just so amped up; over the top! 

This latest scandal, involving alleged child sex offender Milton Orkopoulos, looks like it could be the grandaddy of 'em all.      

I read recently about the death of Anna Nicole Smith's son.  Didn't think her life could get any more bizarre or tragic.  But it has.  She's sold the video of the c-section birth of her new bub.  Rumour has it that it fetched 1 million bucks.

Gawd.

And I thought the Conroy kid's life had an unfortunate start ...  

Ever since news of the new Conroy kid broke there have been many articles about how surrogacy laws are now on the agenda and that a debate will ensue. That debate is about lack of legal uniformity between Australian states. 

But I think the debate we should be having is a wider one about the effect of surrogacy (particularly the Conroy version, which involved two women) on the child.

Here Malcolm Farr illustrates this strangely misdirected focus.  He starts with an acknowledgement of the main issue -- the bublet's existential dilemma -- then follows with a list of legal inconsistencies.

Weird.

After narrating a doco about Arnold Schwarzenegger, ready-bloke lefty Alec Baldwin is determined to pull out of the project because of said doco's excessive hammering of the "Arnie was a Nazi" angle.

It's a principled reaction, which I found quite surprising.  Still, you gotta wonder why he didn't just not narrate it after reading the script in the first place ...

Not too bright -- but improving. 

Lulu the fluffy brown bear has pleaded guilty to a vicious glassing in a pub. 

Sheesh.  Even the ABC's kiddie characters are crims.  Says a lot about the joint, don't you reckon?

This story on Labor headkicker Stephen Conroy using surrogacy with two women to father a sprog really creeped me out.  Particularly this bit: 

The couple chose to involve the two women, believing it would reduce the chances of the baby forging a bond with the surrogate mother, who carried the baby to term.

What a way to come into the world.  That poor child. 

I have been reading about this Canal Rocks scandal.  I find it interesting because I have very fond memories of the beaches "down south".  Did a lot of surfing there in my youth, see. 

Supertubes at Smiths Beach was one of my favourite breaks.  It's the dark blue, foam-covered reef in the middle of this photo. I used to stay in a little caravan park at the southern end of the beach near Canal Rocks; head out at sparrow's and get radical in the cylinders, dude!  If my memory serves it was not too far from where these buildings are now. 

Sad to see the transformation -- with more in store for Smiths Beach if the developers weather this storm.  Could almost make me a greenie, it could ... 

Sniff, sniff ...  Uh, oh.  Time to play my favourite sook-up-about-the-past song and blubber like a bastard.

Bwa-haaaaaaaah!  Waaaaaaah! Waaaaaaah! Bwa-HAAAAAAAAAAAH!!! 

Sniff.

With Cup day almost upon us, celebs are swarming over Melbourne like blowies around a bull's bum. 

Why do they find horse-racing so damn glamorous?  And what's with the hats?  What's all that about?

Buggered if I know ... 

Kim Beazley thinks that this is a possibility and is more than a tad shat off about it.  And he's certain that if it is built here, it will be in his electorate.  No way, he reckons!

I agree.  The battlers of Brand simply don't deserve it.  I think it should go a little further north, in Fremantle.  That is sure to give all those greenies a nice warm inner glow.  

He, he. 

It's easy as.  Go to the site I just found, start moving your mouse and left and right-clicking.  You'll have created your own "Blue Poles" in no time. 

Remember when the Whitlam Government forked out a record 1.3 million bucks for that alleged art work created by Jackson Pollock?

That was no oil painting as far as I'm concerned.  Looked more like a mass of chunder produced by Pollock after one of his many benders.

Now, another mound of the drunkard's chuck has fetched an even more astronomical price!

Talk about deja-spew ...

Ugh. 

Here's a site for people who love Nature and hate humanity so much that they want us all to cark it.

Bet they're not willing to die themselves, but ...

Interesting combination of factors allows the long-term unemployed and working poor to live in swish Subiaaaco apartments alongside ultra-ostentatious mega-yups. 

Something similar had happened in Sydders when I was living there (although the events leading up to it were of a very different nature).  There were a few harbourside state housing high-rises with amazing views that had been built yonks back, when these quasi-urban areas were seen as decidedly downmarket.  Now, they were smack bang in the middle of prime real estate.  But the tenants had been there the whole time, paying a comparative pittance. 

There was a real push to gentrify these joints and boot the bogans.  They weren't budging then.  (Might have gone by now, but.)

A sexual assault victim has spoken out in defence of Sheik Al Hilali, saying that his recent comments didn't condone rape.

This story is getting a wide run in the media, which is interesting.  (I can imagine there were a few sexual assault victims who have spoken out against Sheik Al Hilali, yet they didn't catch the spottie.)

It seems to be a mini-Cindy Sheehan type-situation.  And the assault victim's name?  Cindy Taylor. 

Spooky. 

The Walk Against Warming is just about to start over here in Perth.  Bit of a cack really, because this is the coldest, most overcast day we've had all week.  I think it might just piss down.

This ironic situation has occurred many times, and I'm sure it won't be the last. 

UPDATE:  Didn't piss down, just spat a little.  Maybe it was Gaia fulminating over her human creations' hubris in assuming they know what she's planning for the future?

Pru Goward's replacement as sex discrimination commissioner is a bloke.

Uh-oh.  I can imagine more than a few feminists being a tad shat off about this. 

It's not just the atmosphere that we've got to worry about; doomsayers are predicting the end of fish stocks by the middle of this century.

So, what do we call this marine version of climate change?  The "Waterhouse Effect"?

I like it, but it's problematic.  Sounds more like a term to describe a freakish ability to train winning horses.

Any other ideas people? 

Just about every fluff wuffy in Oz has been shreiking that the axing of the Glass House was an act of totalitarian censorship; a "hit" ordered by John Howard, the Don Vito Corleone of Oz.  The truth: it was a management decision made 3 months ago, and had nothing to do with Corinne Grant and her stupid ad.

To be honest, I was hoping the show was cancelled in the interests of redressing a political imbalance, because then there'd be the possibility of some actual satire being put in its place (and satire with wide appeal).

But nup.  It was just the wheels in motion.  So, chances are you'll see something a bit fresher, newer and livelier now.  But it's odds-on it will have the same smug, sneering socialist subtext as always. 

Haven't seen the print edition yet, but apparently a story about the the demise of The Glass House is on the front page of the West Australian.

Eh?

If the termination of such a silly, irrelevant show is evidence of a new bias (I'd say it was the opposite) then surely the excessive coverage the story receives is evidence of a present bias in the media.

As the Herald Sun reports, across Oz previously turned-up noses are all out of joint as a result.  It's the end of the world for some.  Gawd.

And if, as headkicker Stephen Conroy says, it's a "victory for John Howard's cultural warriors", then it's a pretty bloody small one isn't it?

So, there's evidence that the ABC is now not completely dominated by sneering ultra-PC leftoid peckerheads, and there's room for a few right-wing ratbags.  Surely that's a good thing --particularly when the public funds it and the public are Howard's biggest fans.

Am I right, or am I right?

A while ago I posted about that bizarre running thing that Tom Cruise does.  Just found another example of it. 

No wonder all the women hate him. 

In other axing news, notorious ARIA flasher Axle Whitehead has decided to bite the bullet and quit his gig:

"I can't take back what I did, but I can take responsibility for it."

Almost noble, don't you reckon? 

Oh, dear.  The squitterati are going spacko because one mediocre ABC show is getting the chop.

Here's Christopher Warren from the Media, Entertainment and Arts Alliance:

"Has freedom of expression deteriorated so far in Australia that even satire is under attack, and entertainers must keep silent?"

Well, no, Chris.  The Glasshouse may have been many things but satire it definitely was not.  The best description of it?  A bunch of smug wankers laughing like drains at each other's lame-arse gags with the long suffering Aussie taxpayer footing the bill.  I'd say "sheltered jerkshop" is the term you'd be lookin' for here. 

And, like, who's being silenced?  The soon-to-be-unemployed yucksters aren't gonna stop bitching about this for quite a while -- er, unless they tape their mouths shut at the next ACTU rally ... 

I can just see it now:  Corinne Grant, Dave Hughes and Wil Anderson -- "The ABC Three" -- sitting po-faced on the podium as gruesome Stalinist hacks rail against the "dictator" Howard before them. 

Now there's a skit I'd like see!  Funny thing is it may well happen for real. 

That's lefties for you.  They make satire redundant.